You minor, nearly major

2Rare – Oochie Coochie
(From Oochie Coochie single; 2022)


Philly Club Rap which kinda sounds like Chicago Bop? As The High & Mighty nearly said, that’s a pleasant surprise like seeing unshaven pussy right in front of your eyes. Oochie Coochie might be the catchiest chorus of 2022 – a hook so horny it’d make Max B proud (2Rare even talks like Max where he tells the bird on the phone “I’m tryna hit you too, I got the wave right now..”) At 1:14 Oochie Coochie is more like an intro than an anthem, but I ain’t mad at it in this instance.

… who am I tryna fool? Nah, I’m mad. Oochie Coochie woulda/coulda/shoulda been a 5 Star General choon if it were longer. Not only is a 1:14 Rap song musically unsatisfying to me, it’s also functionally impractical: how am I supposed to listen to this shit in the car and keep my eyes on the road when I’ve gotta fiddle around to rewind the song every 74 seconds? The unfortunate thing with a lot of these zoomer rappers is that they make music for TikTok instead of making music for cars. You know what’s really annoying though? None of 2Rare’s other songs are this short, but none of them are anywhere near as good as Oochie Coochie.

In theory, 2Rare could solve Oochie Coochie‘s problem by recording a 2nd verse for an extended mix. In reality, extended mixes usually end up creating more problems where the new verses either sound awkwardly attached on or use a different flow which ends up debunking the original song’s charms. Guess I’m just gonna have to accept that the song is… too short.