Shinola songs from the shittiest artists

Talking about the Chili Peppers’ Give It Away and Metallica’s Enter Sandman in this post got me thinkin’ about other elite examples of songs I love by artists I loathe. Not so much One Song Wonders in the vein of Jay Electronica’s Exhibit C, more detestable artists who somehow managed one Godly fluke in an otherwise ghastly catalogue Ă  la Weak Become Heroes by The Streets. Here’s five diamonds from their artist’s respective seas of shite – all genres, all gems.

Tricky ft. Martina Topley-Bird – Christiansands
(From Pre-Millennium Tension album; 1996)



You, a square: Tricky’s Maxinquaye is the Illmatic of the Hardcore Continuum.

Me, a connoisseur: STFU Grimey Simey junior. Christiansands is the one song where Tricky’s Worzel Gummidge whisper wap doesn’t sound like a wet fart after a night on the cider. For that we can thank his backing vocalist bird, the subtle use of a Slick Rick sample, and John Woo for bringing the song to life in Face/Off.

U2 – Desire
(From Rattle & Hum soundtrack; 1988)



You, a square: I hate U2, you hate U2, we all hate U2. Really doe, Brian Eno coaxed a few jams outta them in the 90’s.

Me, a connoisseur: I wanna talk to you shorty ’cause you be trippin’ sometimes. There was nowt more embarrassing than 90’s U2 tryna be all arch and knowing. U2’s one legit 10/10 classic came at the arse-end of their Christian cowboy cosplay era when they brought out the Bo Diddley beat for Desire. The result: MTV’s answer to Mystic Eyes innit.

Big Sean – Paradise (single version)
(From Paradise single; 2014)



You, a square: I can’t stand Big Sean but I can’t front on the A$$ remix or I don’t F*ck With You.

Me, a connoisseur: You all up in Da Game with the answers missin’. As anyone who went to a Westwood party in 2014 knows, Paradise is the one song where Big Sean’s hyperactive valley girl steez worked. In my personal canon of Detroit spazz-Rap, Paradise is the mainstream club banger counterpoint to Pablo Skywalkin’s All Facts.

Cliff Richard & The Drifters – Move It
(From Move It single; 1958)



You, a square: I refuse to believe that Tennis-loving Tory nonce Cliff Richard has ever made a good song.

Me, a connoisseur: Me too TBF until I heard Move It. The Truth like Beanie first LP: Move It would be universally acknowledged as the G.O.A.T British Rock & Roll banger of the 50’s if it didn’t belong to Clifftiano Richnaldo.

Azealia Banks – Miss Amor
(From Broke With Expensive Taste album; 2014)



You, a square: I wish Azealia Banks would stop being such a troll edgelady and start putting out great music like 212 again.

Me, a connoisseur: LMFAO she’s a far better troll than she is a rapper, m8. 212 was just a dry-run for Miss Amor where she did her usual Ya Kid K karaoke over an R&S Records classic and accidentally recorded a lost Lil’ Kim song from Diddy’s Last Train To Paris album.