My Mind Spray 3.5

Can I say shit? Do it for Matthew Africa, do it for Gary Warnett.

It’s no coincidence that E-40 and Boosie’s music both took a turn for the worse when they stopped wearing premium LVC Levi’s jeans and switched to ugly distressed Eurotrash denim with ridges on the knees. You can’t be an American outlaw when you’re dressed like a Spanish footballer.

Hurricane Chris is making a comeback via a Jersey Club remix of Ay Bay Bay that’s blown up on TikTok. Personally, I can’t wait until the Jersey Club community discover ReUp Reedy’s For That Dick.

Hyperpop is just Chicago Bop for posh people and paedophiles. You can’t tell me shit to the contrary because A.G Cook & all them P.C Music toffs had never heard Rap music until Fact Magazine posted a Sicko Mobb video. I bet 100 Gecs had never heard Rap music either until Pitchfork reviewed DJ Moondawg’s We Invented The Bop Vol. 1 mixtape.

For decades, “yeah, but it bangs on the dancefloor tho!” was a mostly accurate gauge for judging Rap music. Then KanYe Pest’s Stronger made it an unreliable barometer before Drake’s career and Godawful shite like A$AP Feŕg’s Shabba rendered it an utterly useless measuring stick.

When you’re in the pub watching a football match on BT Sport there’s no better feeling than drowning out Glenn Hoddle’s colour commentary with some Biggie classics off the pub’s jukebox. Thereby replacing the unpleasant sound of a man talkin’ shit with the pleasant sound of a man shit talkin’.

One for the Britz: Dave East’s music is the Rap equivalent of Michael Owen’s punditry.